Used Dump Trailer

May 9, 2011

Please Help. Dont know what to do…….?

I am a 13 year old girl. Right after christmas, me and my mom, younger sister, and older sister moved to one of my mom`s friends`ranches and since then i have been miserable, and depressed. There is nobody my age around here within and hour of driving, so obviously i have no friends….. i had friends but they all dumped me when they got the chance. I am overweight, self consious, and am also homeschooled ( which i think im failing because nobody, especially my mom, will help me ) I have a younger brother but he moved in with my dad a long time ago which really made me depressed because thats basically all my dad wanted when my parents got divorced- my brother. I only see him about once a month, and even then he doesnt really pay any attention to me cuz there are 4 of us kids . He lives in the city where all my friends and family and the high school i have always wanted to go to are and a couple months ago, my older sister went with my dad supposedly for a week or so, but has been staying there ever since and she is planning on staying there permanantly. So ever since then i have been left alone with my little sister in the half renovated trailer we live in. my mom is never here. I want to live with my dad, but every time i bring it up, my mom won`t talk to me about it and i asked my dad and he practically told me flat out no, with the same response coming from my sister and brother also. I have also looked into boarding school, which would solve all our problems,except we don`t have any money and im not smart enough or athletic enough for a scholarship, my mom doesnt want to go to work, so we live off of child support and money from the government. I basically have nothing good in my life except the thought that in 5 years, i can move away from everyone. I am constantly thinking of ways out, suicide, and am also about to start cutting myself just out of sheer boredom.I also have been trying to starve myself, so i wont be so over weight, but lucky for me, i always end up quitting. i have never finished anything .And also all the stuff i used to love, reading, playing video games,my dogs, horses, hold no interest for me. I know this will sound bad, but lately i have also been watching porn. I dont know why. I don`t like it at all, but i can`t make myself stop. I also don`t think therapy would be an option, my mom probably wouldnt take me, and i live an hour up a mountain, with no access to anything like that
I really want someones professional opinion
Please help……

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